Photo by Emily Austin on Unsplash

WASHINGTON—Echoing the stance he has taken toward the United States Postal Service for months, President Donald Trump said Wednesday that he will be selling the inaugural collection of Trump’s official online store, a limited edition of First Class Mail that will become available for purchase beginning the evening of August 15. “Due to the near-unprecedented demand for this collection of dedicated, unique Trump-branded post-it notes, envelopes, and button displays, this is our official line and it will remain available for purchase indefinitely until complete stock is exhausted,” said Trump, who for months has slammed the postal service for continually flushing millions of dollars into unsustainable investments on unconventional service projects, noting that his new line will be exclusively sold to the American people through his online store directly from the Oval Office. “This is going to be great for your Trump decorating résumé.” Sources also confirmed that once the official Trump catalog is inundated with overwhelming demand, an extremely limited run of only 24,000 items will be offered at discounted prices only to American taxpayers.